Meditation

Today I went to a meditation class. My first ever. There were approximately 20 women there (the 4 men who signed up canceled - surprised?) I enjoyed the quiet and learned that I feel rather natural at it. After 3 lovely bell tones, we were led through the meditation exercise. We concentrated on our breathing, which is something I've always done whenever I'm stressed or anxious. I've also listened to hypnosis tapes in the past and was able to move very easily into other 'states of consciousness'. But the true point of meditation, I learned today, was to become more aware of the thoughts that slip in uninvited. Like - what's for supper? Or, where did I put my glasses? You are supposed to note these thoughts, in a kind, gentle way, then ask yourself to return to your focused breathing. A kind way of saying to these thoughts - get the hell out of my head. Some people have chants or prayers, but breathing is enough for me. I'm going to try to do 10 minutes, 2X daily. One benefit is supposed to be the clarity it brings you, as well as the ability to be still and quiet, which is quite a struggle in these busy times.

Now - for some of the 'realities' of the class. First of all, my legs kept falling asleep. It's really awful trying to concentrate on your breathing when your feet feel like they're being poked with a thousand needles. Then, the quandary -- to sit on a pillow or the mat. My feet fell asleep in both places, so I guess it doesn't matter. Well, maybe it does--my butt bone felt better on the pillow. As I settled into the quiet in & out of my breathing, someone coughed and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Whew! I settled back in and my head started itching...no, no, no...I concentrated harder - breathe in, breathe out, then slowly reached my hand up to scratch. After several bouts of meditation, we ate healthy snacks and herbal tea, then did some yoga moves to stretch our sore backs and butts. I looked ridiculous, trying to put my arms around both of my knees and pull them to my chest. Thank god we didn't have to do any 'Downward Dogs'. Finally, we ended with a charming meditation, led by our leader. It was to enable us to focus on those we love, our family, friends, and the world in general, to have peace, health, happiness and no suffering. We stretched out flat on our mats. As I started to focus on my breathing, the stomach of the woman lying next to me started burbling, popping, and growling. It sort of dampened the whole thing. And I kept letting stray thoughts enter my head - would someone please get her a handful of those organic crackers?

Overall, of course, the leader was quite good, very soothing, and knowledgeable. I think, though, that I'll just forgo the group meditations in the future. That way if my stomach gurgles, I stop to scratch my nose, or desperately start rubbing my feet back to life, no one will hear or see me.